Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
