I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
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He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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