and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
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Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.