I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!