are you still at the devil's house?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay