too bad you live with your parents still
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important