We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize