dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
