no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
