You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
