I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
