You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
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Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I am one with the molecules
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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