WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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