What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
