Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.

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(301): i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man. http://tfl.nu/s3bb

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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.

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(802): I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel. http://tfl.nu/5pvk

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?

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(401): how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards? http://tfl.nu/ktqz

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(845): View more from New York

I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.

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(845): I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says. http://tfl.nu/83ho

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with

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(978): imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with http://tfl.nu/3tvk

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420

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(610): We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420 http://tfl.nu/8lzk

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(240): View more from Maryland

stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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(240): stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing. http://tfl.nu/y30j

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(480): View more from Arizona

Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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(480): Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars. http://tfl.nu/f73b

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(714): View more from California

I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going

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(714): I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going http://tfl.nu/ebwx

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(815): View more from Illinois

we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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(815): we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod. http://tfl.nu/j49l

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(641): View more from Iowa

This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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(641): This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game. http://tfl.nu/44fx

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(630): View more from Illinois

Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.

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(630): Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head. http://tfl.nu/xpy4

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(516): View more from New York

Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future

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(516): Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future http://tfl.nu/gu0v

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(614): View more from Ohio

Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.

(440): View more from Ohio

Awkward

(614): View more from Ohio

Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.

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(614): Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH. (440): Awkward (614): Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again. http://tfl.nu/iqp6

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(208): View more from Idaho

You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge

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(208): You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge http://tfl.nu/7xq9

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