the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
