sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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