Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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