butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
