just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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