There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
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Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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