to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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