the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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