Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
