dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize