That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
