i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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