Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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