I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
