It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
