hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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