chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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