first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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