none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
