I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
