Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
