apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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