Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
