U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
