we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
