I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
