it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
