Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
