"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
