I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
