Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
