That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
