i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
