You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
smell my finger.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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