11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's just like the Real World with babies
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She bit a glass in half.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Randomize
