That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
