I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
