i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize