I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize