I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
