Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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