Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
