It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
