dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
