so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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