The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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