I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
