i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
