Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
