I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We named our party play list daddy issues
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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