unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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